Friday, August 14, 2009

Ambitions.or the lack of it. Part 2.

I regularly have a fight with my parents, regarding the same old stuff- 'what to do in life?'
Some two –three years ago, they used to ask this politely, as if they’ll genuinely allow me and support me in whatever I choose for myself. Ironically, they always wanted me to go by what THEY wanted.
I took a decision a year ago, which was the first decision I took for myself, independently, and against my parents’ wish. And since then, my life changed. My parents never really talked to me like before.
They see me as a failure; a person who has completely destroyed his life. They’re not at all interested in what I’m doing and what I want to do next. They don’t care where I am, with whom I am and what am I doing.
All this, just for choosing the best college in the country, but of a different field.
And it disturbed me so much, that I myself started feeling like I’ve made a mistake. I had an option of choosing what my parents wanted—Opting for B.Tech in an average college of a very good university, but I preferred opting for BBS in the best college of the country.
Throughout the first year, I remained frustrated and kept it all inside (this is the first time I am revealing all this to anyone!)
Frustration, which lead to more & more fights with friends and family; and the circle continued.

For the past few months, things remained silent. If they (my parents) were not positive, they were not negative either.
But now all that is back. Because, in less than one and a half years I have my CAT exam, and they really want me to be successful in it. (They think my grad degree is anyway useless)

Our parents really want us to be successful, we know. And, for that, they want us to follow the conventional path, a tried and tested career path which everyone is following. They might talk about letting their children do whatever they want, but inside, they’ve probably made plans for us right from our birth.
They do care about us, and it’s not their fault completely either. Our society is such, that no parent would want their child to do something that is risky and unconventional. Only those courses are considered good for which you have to study for 12 hours a day to crack the entrance and be amongst those top thousand students from some 2-3 lakh students giving that exam.
Lucky are those, who clear these exams and make everyone and themselves proud.
Also, lucky are those, who take their own career path and are able to fulfill their dreams.
And stuck in between, are people like me, who have their dreams they can’t do anything about, nor have they cracked these hyped exams to make their parents happy.

We studied in a management subject of ours that the need for a social status, money and a stable life comes before the need of ‘self-actualization’ (fulfilling your personal goals in life and realizing your potential to the fullest). It applies here also, that we take those conventional paths first, have a stable career ; and then go out and fulfill our dreams. The risk involved is less,
and people around you are happy. So, I am planning to start preparing for CAT very soon, and this time,really looking forward to clearing it. I hope I am motivated throughout, and make myself & everyone proud.